Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Total Snot Rag of a Day

A few words of advice, from my life to yours.

Sometimes, people disappoint you. Often, these are people you know and love. Occasionally, these are people you don't know at all. In the former case, you forgive, you grow, you move on. In the latter case, you get really cranky and plot to steal their pets. Because when their ineptitude makes you look bad, cat-nabbing is really your only option. Or in other words, sometimes the caterers just don't show up.

Sometimes going thirsty is better than drinking the caffeine. Even though that meeting went on for five hours, and even though you got really really thirsty, and even though there was nothing else to drink that didn't directly violate your religious beliefs, a full can of fully loaded Coca Cola will not do you any favors. Or in other words, sitting still and acting like an adult after drinking a can of Coke is nearly impossible.

Sometimes, you should just stay home. Even though you really need to go to the mall, and this seems like a perfect opportunity to borrow your sister's car, you should just stay home. Because the two year old girl who will need to come with you will be a complete pickle, and there is nothing less flattering than hearing yourself repeat "Don't touch, sweetie" like a bazillion times in a single store. Or in other words, she may look cute in that matching coat and hat, but she will totally snot all over your shopping bags anyway.

Sometimes you have to cancel plans. And that stinks, because you were probably looking forward to them. And you kind of want to pout and whine about it, but you can't because that's what the afore mentioned two year old is doing and you are supposed to be the adult in this situation. Or in other words, *pout* *whine*.

Sometimes you will have bad days. Things will go wrong, you'll ingest too many stimulants, your niece will have a runny nose and flout your authority in public, and you won't get to see the international film you wanted to see. But maybe, if you're lucky, somebody will unexpectedly bring you chocolate and eggnog. Or in other words, boys are gross and totally have cooties but sometimes they can also be pretty awesome.

No comments: