Thursday, December 3, 2009

Because underneath all the sarcasm, I'm kind of a nerd.

The sun rises more slowly now, and there seems to be an abundance of hot chocolate flavored cheer in the air. Though there is not yet any snow in my life, yet the season of seasons has arrived. It's Christmas time. So go get me a present!

No, really. I want gifts. Lots of them. Need a list?

1. Put a quarter in four parking meters for me. I don't have a car, but I know that it would pretty much suck to get ticketed for letting the meter run out. The people who benefit will never know you did it, but the $1 you spend doing it for me will make my day.

2. Tell someone she looks pretty today. Well, let me be more specific about this one. Tell someone you know that she looks pretty today, and do not do it on the metro. I don't care who she is or what she looks like. She needs to hear it, so just spit it out already. I'll love you all the more for it, whether I find out you did it or not.

3. Let someone into that congested traffic lane today. And when they smile and wave back, or just blatantly ignore you, I'm sure I'll somehow feel the karmic waves of that kind act.

4. Listen to someone's story without formulating one of your own in response. Just listen, take in what they have to say. This really is a gift to me, because I love it when people listen to me. Even when I've got nothing very important to say, I love to be listened to. I heard this line on a movie yesterday "Every voice counts". And it's corny and weird and I don't care. Every voice counts, so listen. I'll be grateful, I promise.

5. Thank a former teacher. Because they probably helped make you who you are today, and you were probably a brat to them at some point, and they deserve to know that all that hard work and the will power it took not to smack you upside the head paid off. I know. I've left a long line of weary, annoyed, nearly-homicidal teachers in my wake, and I'm super grateful they didn't smack me as often as I deserved it.

6. Give up your seat to another passenger today. So you're tired and you've had a long day? Awesome, you can totally relate to every other person on the train. Also, try not to discriminate based on gender when giving up a seat. Men and women both have long days and tired feet. Be an equal opportunity hero, for me?

7. Tell your mother how awesome she is. Because it's true. She's awesome. I know it, you know it, so go make sure she knows it. No, your mom isn't as unstoppably phantasmagorically fantabulous as my mom is, but then my mom is a special case. That doesn't mean yours isn't totally lovely as well.

8. Be good to you. I'm glad you are alive. I'm super glad you are alive. And you are too, most of the time. So be good to you, as a gift to me. I'll pay you back in kind.

9. Say something nice about a politician. I don't care which one. Republican, democrat, whatever. The point is, these people get a lot of mean things said to/at/about them. There is a karmic debt to politicians the size of the Grand Canyon out there. Do your part to even the score, and just be nice for once. You can get back to your regularly scheduled heckling and complaining tomorrow.

10. Talk to God. He misses you. I know, because He told me so. That's right, I'm the crazy girl who talks to God on the metro. And He left a message for you:
Pick up the phone, you little punk. I'm calling.

With lots of cheesy, corny, mushy love from every fiber of my Christmas-ed out hippy self.

1 comment:

Gloria said...

You are awesome. I'll work on getting you some of those Christmas gifts. So glad I finally found your blog.