Welcome to Istanbul, please pick your jaw up off the floor.

First of all, let's talk about this city shall we? This glorious incredible enormous city. My first impressions of Istanbul have now been overlayed with a week's worth of site seeing, but I do vividly remember two of my initial reactions upon arrival:

1) Minarets are gorgeous. Seriously, way to go with the religious architecture, Islam. As the plane came down over the city these graceful towers seemed to dot the skyline in every direction, and it made the whole city seem more elegant somehow, as though she had put on her special occasion jewelry just for us.

2) Holy crap, I'm back in India.

The latter was actually more of a visceral reaction brought on by some of the side streets we saw on the train from the airport to our hotel. I'm still not exactly sure what did it, but all of the sudden my stomach dropped and I got a little light headed. For those of you who did not follow the India saga, let me just say that being in India is like hanging out with the most beautiful, fascinating person you've ever met...who occasionally likes to punch you in the face. It was probably the strange, non-romantic, language I was hearing everywhere. There is nothing like being surrounded by a language you don't speak to make you feel like a total idiot. The similarities between Turkey and India were not deep or vast, however, so the deja vu didn't last long.

We opted to use mass transit rather than pay for a taxi, which meant our first visit to the hippodrome involved dragging our suitcases behind us and much map-induced anxiety. In fact, we did not even know we were in the hippodrome as we rolled our luggage over the stones that once flew beneath the wheels of chariot races and imperial carriages. All we knew was that if we cut through this...park? type place we could get to our hotel faster. Or not, seeing as we got lost anyway. Also, drivers in Istanbul have a much greater respect for the intelligence of pedestrians than DC drivers do. Which is a nice way of saying that in Istanbul they expect you to be smart enough to move yourself out of the way before they hit you, and they do not bother to slow down or go around you if you do not. Word.

Thanks to a very helpful fish-restaurant majordomo, we did eventually find the little bed and breakfast we had reserved online. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the view from our balcony:

In the foreground you can see the ruins of the Byzantine city walls, and that skyline in the distance? Oh that's just Asia honey.

Sunset over the sea of Marmara, baby. Welcome to Istanbul.

And looking out over the European coastline. We had no idea we would have this kind of view when we booked this hotel. I take credit for it anyway.

 

 

Self-photography #451 "Jet-lagged and hungry"

We got to our hotel some time around 6pm and after gaping at that gorgeous view we set out in search of sustenance. And I'm sure we would have found it, too, had we not found the Arasta Bazzaar first.

You may now pause to wipe the drool off your face.

 But anyway, food. Right? Yes, we wanted food. Wait...

Blue Mosque, looking mysterious and awesome. Seriously, who cares about food?

And then we turned around and boom! Haggia Sophia was staring me straight in the face and she was like "Hello tiny mortal. I'm about to blow your mind." (In fact, I didn't even get a good picture. I just stared at her and tried not to cry.)

Somehow, eventually, we did get ourselves into a restaurant. A terrace restaurant with a perfect view of the backside of Blue Mosque. Mr. Awesome indulged in some very nice lamb kabob and rice, while I sipped fresh squeezed orange juice and stared at the minarets. Until about 8:30pm, when those minarets began to issue the call to prayer.

And then I really did cry. I have seen few things in life as beautiful as Sultanahmet at night when a dozen different minarets fill the air with the name of God.

And that was just the first night. Next up? Haggia Sophia makes good on her promise.

Paper

A year ago today I woke up a married woman. While the actual marrying took place on the 25th, I still kind of feel like the 26th is the first day of my married life. There was a whole lot happening around us on the 25th, and there were whole lot of people involved in said happenings. On the 26th, though, it was just the two of us. Team J&J versus the world. And oh boy, it was gonna be good.

And so it has been. People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Either they are full of crap, or marriage is a piece of pie. Or possibly I just happened to marry the best man ever invented in the history of time. Actually, it's probably a combination of all three with emphasis on the third.

Of course, I can only speak for myself. I know Mr. Awesome's perception of marriage is not the same as mine at all. He made the mistake of marrying a crazy person who gets excited and furious over the strangest things, sometimes simultaneously, and listens to Christmas music in July. His first year of marriage was probably like drinking Mountain Dew after a lifetime of nothing but water. Exhilarating but confusing and can leave you with a headache. Also it goes well with chocolate. Mmmmm, chocolate.

The point is, I am awesome at marriage and will now feel free to dispense advice about it at will to any and everyone I meet. Such are the benefits of having been married a WHOLE YEAR. Also, chocolate.

Anyway, over the next few weeks I'll be chronicling the most recent J&J adventure from which we returned only last night. There will be plenty of pictures and strained metaphors for your blogging enjoyment. Until then, though, I leave you with this thought:

Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople. Been a long time gone, old Constantinople. Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

(Oh you so have that song stuck in your head now, don't you?)

You'll probably need Google Translate for this one. Och, aye.

Ho ye! Guid mornin!

Mayhap ye dinnae ken it but we've had a stretch of dreich days an' plenty 'o time fer sewin' in these parts. Wuid you like a wee keek at what's come oot of it? Ye wuid? Guid, then.

 

My Laird Awesome is a verra braw man, is he no? 

I sewed evra thried in that gown, lassies. Evra wee thried, an Ah did it wi' many a curse as weel.

 

Pure dead brilliant, is wha' it is, lassies.

 An' phoootoshopped 'til ma heid's mince too. 

I ken what yer thinkin': "Yer bum's oot the widae." Dinnae fash yerself, laddies. I dinnea ken what the half of it mean meself.

Mayhap ye'd fancy a wee keek at the look we've planned fer All Hallows Eve, then? Nae problem!

 Avast ye! Thar be squarles ahead!

September, Irene, and an unnecesarily long post about both.

Welcome, dear ones, to the best part of the year. That's right: we have officially survived another summer. I say survived because, let's be honest, summer sucks. I mean, all of the reasons to enjoy summer are counterbalanced, and even overcome, by reasons to despise it. So it's finally warm outside? Great, this means I will spend most of the day with my hands wrapped around a steaming cup of hot water trying not to catch cold in this HORRIBLE AIR CONDITIONING! So it stays light outside longer? Lovely, except that the humidity is so stiflingly aweful that you'll be stuck inside anyway waiting for the sun to go down so it's bearable to be outside. Concerts in the park, you say? Divine, until the mosquitoes have made your legs into a writhing mass of itchy painful bumps--and thrown west-nile virus into the mix while they are at it. But what about the fireflies, you ask? Well, there you have me. I adore fireflies. However, they've been gone for at least a month so can you blame me for wishing summer away already?

Anywho, all that's behind us now. It's September the first and now, my lovelies, comes fall. Oh, fall, how do I love thee! Now, finally, we can do some of the things we've been wanting to do since summer came and chased the glorious spring into hiding. Bike rides? Yes! Indeed, and we may not die of heat exhaustion while we're at it! Kayaking? Why of course! And perhaps the mosquitoes will not kill us and sacrifice us to their pagan gods! Farmers' Markets? Outdoor movies? Renaissance Festivals? Yes and yes and ooooooh yes!

Speaking of Ren-Faire times, wait till you see the smashing costume I've been working on for this year's shindig. In fact, if you are wondering how on earth I survived the chaos of Hurricane Irene, there is your answer: I sat at the sewing machine humming songs from the Phantom of the Opera and tailoring a corset. (Oh yes, my dears, a corset! Shocked? Don't be, it's pretty tame and fits over a billowy white shirt. Not even any cleavage to be seen. A let-down, I know.)

While we're on the subject, let's get this Hurricane Irene business out of the way. Many of you will only now be realizing that Irene was in my way at all, given that DC isn't exactly on the coast. However, don't be fooled! We were warned and forewarned that this puppy was gonna be the big one. Massive power outages! Flooding! Damaging winds and falling trees! Fairies stealing your first born child at midnight! (Okay, maybe not that last one.) The day before the storm was scheduled to hit us everything shut down early and people went home to stock up on water and toilet paper (read: alcohol and weed) to wait out the devastation that would surely leave half of us maimed and longing for death. Mr. Awesome and I, being the prepared type of people we are, were also batting down the hatches and stocking up on emergency supplies on Friday night. That's right, we were so serious about survival that at about 9:30pm we walked across the street to the RiteAid and purchased not one but TWO boxes of granola bars and a bottle of water. We had also intended to buy batteries and a flashlight, but by the time we figured out what food we should be hoarding during this disaster we kind of forgot about the other things on our list.

Me: "I dunno, honey. What sort of things do you buy during a hurricane?"

Him: "Ummmm....granola bars, I think? Yeah, so you don't have to cook them when the power goes out."

Me: "Oh, right! Ok, sooo....chocolate chip or raisin? Is there a right kind of bar to get in this situation?"

Him: "Well, we should probably get both, just in case."

In fact, it was lucky we saw the store manager re-stocking the empty shelves where the bottled water goes or we would have forgotten that as well. Luck was on our side, however, and we soon found ourselves trudging home loaded down with a whole bag full of bottled water and granola to wait out the coming apocalypse.

Saturday came and went with nothing very exciting to tell. I went to my scheduled optometry appointment and Mr. Awesome carried around a golfing umbrella just in case. Then, at long last, Saturday night came. This was it! The night the big storm was mean to come into our lives and change them forever! Here we go.

Yep, any second now, guys. For sure. It's gonna be intense, people. Wait for it....wait for it.... What time is it now? 10:30 huh? I thought for sure we'd be dead by now. Still, I'll bet when it hits we'll be freaked. Sooo...wanna watch a movie then while we wait? But not one we haven't seen because I'm pretty sure the power will go out and then we won't get to see the ending. Oh wow, it's 12:30 am. You know, I had better clean that kitchen just in case the power does go out and then we have no way to wash the counter. I can't wait for this storm to freak us all out, it's gonna be epic. Wait! Did the power just flicker off for a whole second?!? Is this it? Huh. Guess I'll reset the kitchen clock. Soooo... bed then?

And then, finally, just after 1am, the transformer outside our window exploded and we were plunged into darkness. I remember it perfectly. I was standing in the kitchen when the adrenaline immediately flooded my veins and I was unsure what to do first: find the emergency candles or eat a granola bar?

Me: "Honey, quick, this is it. Where are the granola bars?"

Him: "Pantry, I think. Shouldn't we light some candles or something?"

Me: "No time for that! This is an emergency. Where are you? I can't see a thing. Do you have the granola bars?"

Him: "Maybe I should move the car before a tree branch falls on it."

Me: "Good idea. Here, take a candle and a granola bar."

Him: "Uhh...I don't really think those will help me in this situation..."

Me: "Oh, right. Well be careful. I'll wait for you."

And I did. I waited by the window, anxiously gripping my granola bar, and watched the solitary umbrella bobbing along the walkway to the parking lot. I waited with baited breath for the flare of parking lights as he hit the automatic-door-unlocker-button-thingy and stepped into the relative safety of our Hyundai. Thank heavens we went with the bigger car after all, that Honda Fit we looked at would surely be blown away by now, what with all the...moderate winds and...drizzling rain? Finally, though, I spotted that familiar umbrella bobbing back toward the building from the parking lot. When I knew he had made it back inside I rushed to the door with a towel at the ready.

Me: "You're back! Are you okay?"

Him: "Oh you know, the usual, massive head trauma and severed limbs. Other than that I'm fine."

Me: "Ok, well, should you eat a granola bar or something?"

At this point it was 2:30 am, and we figured we could no longer avoid going to bed. In fact, if we had gone to bed at a normal time, it is unlikely we would even have known the power went out given that it was back on the next morning when we woke up. So you can see how lucky we were that we didn't go to sleep at a normal time or we would have missed all the action. It just goes to show you that those caution signs along the roads were right after all: Take a break, stay awake, for goodness sake!

To be fair, not everyone in our area was so lucky. Three of my coworkers who live on the Maryland side were out of power for several days afterward, and one even had to empty his refrigerator. Betcha he wishes he had thought to get some granola bars before hand, doesn't he?

Shake it like a Polaroid

Over the weekend Mr. Awesome's branch moved offices, from the other side of downtown to a building less than three blocks from my office. Monday was his first day working about a two minute walk from his wife.

The next day DC was hit with the biggest earthquake it had ever experienced.

So you can imagine, dear readers, how it would feel to run out of an evacuating building and into the arms of the person you love most. Or perhaps you cannot imagine, so let me explain it to you. It feels amazing and somewhat freaky.

To be perfectly honest, despite the fact that this was 100 times stronger than the strongest earthquake I had yet felt, it wasn't all that big of a deal. No buildings fell, no one was hurt. My computer nearly tumbled into my lap and the plant next to my desk began to wobble drunkenly (no mean feat since said plant is bottom-heavy and in a thick, squat metal pot.) Oh yes, and the floor kind of felt like it was about to collapse. The point is that it didn't, so no big deal. But leaving the building seemed like a good idea anyway, so we all did.

It took a while for Mr. Awesome and I to locate each other since there are several large office buildings in the area and all of them had emptied their hundreds of occupants into the street. Oh yes, it was quite the street party round these parts. People were simultaneously laughing and repenting. I distinctly remember walking past one distraught woman declaring "O Lord, forgive me my sins! My omissions, my commissions, everything!!!" at which point she pulled out a smart phone and began furiously pushing buttons. I can only suppose she was friending Jesus on facebook.

Meanwhile, up ahead I spotted a familiar blond head atop the black button-up shirt I had squeezed goodbye that morning. I immediately rushed forward and squeezed it again. It squeezed me back and we both laughed at the melodrama of it all. There we were, in the panic and adrenaline of an earthquake, rushing into each others arms like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (if Meg were a few inches taller and Hank a strapping blond with magnificent blue eyes). It was all very cinematic.

So anyway, we found each other. And of course, since no real damage had been done, they eventually let us back into our respective buildings. We met up again about an hour later to walk home together (going underground to the extremely crowded metro station to wait for trains that had been slowed to a 15mph maximum speed seemed a bad itinerary at the time), and again I skipped up to his Awesomeness and squeezed him for good measure. Traffic being at a standstill around us, a taxi driver leaned out of his window grinning and shouted "Hey, she's alive! He's alive! Break it up, love-birds!"

His Awesomness in Vignettes

While visiting my sister's ward, Gwyneth is sitting on Mr. Awesome's lap:

Little girl in the pew in front of us to Gwynne: "Did you get a new daddy?"

Gwynne: "No, this is just my aunt and her Jeremy."


During class when his Awesomeness was still in high school:

Teacher to rowdy students: "Calm down!"

Mr. Awesome: "Me?"

Teacher: "No, not you Jeremy. If you were any calmer you'd stop breathing."



One evening during an argument about something silly and unimportant:

Me: "I'm not talking to you!"

Him: "Yes you are."

Me: "No I'm not, I'm giving you the silent treatment. Don't talk to me!"

Him: "Okay, I'm not to talk to you because you're giving me the silent treatment. Now, how do I know that?"

Me: "Osmosis!"

Photo BOMB...not really, though.

I just finished making this Shutterfly book as a gift for my mom, so I figured I might as well post it here (given that I know I'll never get around to posting pics of the wedding otherwise...I mean, it's been 8 months, dudes). Sooooo....

Ta Da!

Click here to view this photo book larger

PS. I realize this book makes it look like we had no guests at our wedding. Rest assured, we did. And no, it's not that they were all too ugly for the camera. Out actual wedding album includes plenty of photographic evidence that we have good looking friends who attended the blessed event. It's just that I didn't figure my mom would really want them memorialized as much as other things...like my dress. Have I mentioned how lovely my dress was? Man, I love that dress.