His Awesomness in Vignettes

While visiting my sister's ward, Gwyneth is sitting on Mr. Awesome's lap:

Little girl in the pew in front of us to Gwynne: "Did you get a new daddy?"

Gwynne: "No, this is just my aunt and her Jeremy."


During class when his Awesomeness was still in high school:

Teacher to rowdy students: "Calm down!"

Mr. Awesome: "Me?"

Teacher: "No, not you Jeremy. If you were any calmer you'd stop breathing."



One evening during an argument about something silly and unimportant:

Me: "I'm not talking to you!"

Him: "Yes you are."

Me: "No I'm not, I'm giving you the silent treatment. Don't talk to me!"

Him: "Okay, I'm not to talk to you because you're giving me the silent treatment. Now, how do I know that?"

Me: "Osmosis!"