Revenge of the Ren Faire Nerds

I think it's pretty normal behavior around any office for coworkers to ask each other "So what did you do this weekend?" You know, common workplace smalltalk. Twice a year it's also pretty common for me to get stank-face in response to my weekend activities. Because twice a year, I dress up in a costume and go to the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

Oh and it is so nerdy. I mean, come on. Costumes? Do I also speak Old English and walk around calling random stangers "M'lord?" Obviously I play World of Warcraft in leu of a normal social life. What did I name my pet dragon?

Yes, right, because sitting around the house watching reality TV and shopping at the Target is such a better use of time right?

Wrong.

This mime is playing a saw with a violin bow. And he is rocking it.

Look at these talented musicians about to teach us the steps to an Elizabethan dance like the dorks we are.

Ah, pansies wearing cod pieces.  

They were also tear-jerkingly hilarious and they fenced beautifully, with real swords. But we're focusing on the silly costumes, right?

This elephant is not impressed with your Real Housewives reruns or your NPR listening.

Blown glass and a master blowing glass behind it...but let's focus on that short leather skirt he's wearing instead shall we?

Nothing I can say will make this understandable.

Gosh, my husband is such a nerd. I mean, who wants to be married to a man who will dress as the Dread Pirate Roberts to walk around a RenFaire and sporadically kiss your hand when you could marry someone who spends his Saturdays half naked on the couch watching football? I'm so unlucky.

Yes yes, she's about to jump between the flying knives and balance on a yoga ball. Clearly we'd all rather be checking facebook. Also, she's got feathers on her head.

Yikes! Leather art? Is this where they store the dragon skin too?

And there I am. Wearing one of my various costumes (this one for Pirate Weekend). Eating a warm, juicy turkey leg. Later I chased it with chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick. Pity me.

So he can walk on stilts around uneven ground in a funny hat. I'll bet you can change the channel three times per second. You totally win.

Look at all of these people, enjoying themselves while listening to live musing, watching plays, and eating roasted almonds. Losers.

So many bagpipes all in one place. We are obviously compensating for something.

Ah, the Rogues. Sure, the electric violin and mad percussion allowed them to play everything from Last of the Mohicans to some Led Zepplin. It's the fact that I got all choked up when they played a medley of armed forces themes and Scotland the Brave that truly marks both them and me as total pansy nerds. In skirts.

Not pictured:

• Live jousting
• The sword swallower (ick ick ick)
• Acrobats dangling from trees in random walkways.
• The silversmith making jewelry
• Me finally hitting the target at the archery range
• Jeremy throwing a battle axe over his head and straight into the target.
• Me trying to throw a battle axe over my head and dropping it.
• The most realistic Mongolian Warrior costume I've ever seen.
• Two mimes performing the funniest version of Hamlet you'll ever see.
• Me learning to play the hammered dulcimer.
• A medieval German band rocking it out with a special guest...on the cowbell.

In conclusion, what did YOU do this weekend, huh? That's right. Who's the loser now?